Before You Trust Someone With Your Mind

Navigate the sea of options

Working with a professional coach or a therapist can be genuinely life-changing for the better.

However, if you end up with the wrong person - especially one masquerading as a professional - it can make things worse. Much, much worse.

In a world where the coaching industry and large parts of the "therapy" sector are unregulated, it can be terrifying to find someone you can truly trust with your mental well-being.

Coaching and Therapy Are Not the Same

The first critical distinction is understanding the difference between professional coaching and therapy. Their focus, goals, and training requirements are fundamentally separate.

What is Coaching?

Focus: Moving forward, action, goals, mindset, and future-oriented purpose.
Approach: Challenges old stories, helps you see patterns, facilitates aligned action, and focuses on behavioural change.
Boundaries: Coaches do not diagnose. They do not treat trauma. They do not promise to “heal” you. They work with high-functioning individuals who are stuck.

What is Therapy?

Focus: Healing the past, emotional wounds, trauma, depression, anxiety, and deeper psychological issues.
Approach: Requires formal training, clinical understanding of the human psyche, and professional supervision to ensure the client’s emotional safety during deep work.
Boundaries: They do not just “wing it from experience.” They study, practice under rigorous supervision, and know how to safely manage crisis and deep emotional distress.

What Counts for Both: The Foundation of Trust

A good coach and a good therapist share the highest ethical standards. They:

Manage everything clearly: From communication to boundaries, to what will happen in a session.
Explain their process: They clearly outline what they are doing or suggesting, for example, when introducing a new tool.
Prioritise the relationship: The connection is crucial. Find someone you feel you can talk to openly and honestly.
Practise active listening: They listen carefully not only to your words but also to what is unsaid, helping you identify patterns you may not have noticed before.
Remain authentic and respectful: They keep the focus firmly on your issues, not their own.

The Absolute Rule

Always, absolutely always, trust your gut instinct. When something feels off, either ask direct questions or walk away immediately.

Be vigilant against being coerced or pressured into “buying” the service.
A good professional will provide clear information on how they work and their fees, and then leave you to make a decision - they never try to convince you that you must sign up.
Be wary of professionals who offer the lowest minimum price; they may be underselling their value, or, worse, they may not be adequately trained in any way.

When You’re Looking for a Coach

What a good coach looks like:

They listen more than they talk.
They are accepting and non-judgemental.
They ask questions that make you think, not tell you what to believe.
They mirror back what you’ve said and hold up the mirror, so to speak.
They help you find your own answers and respect your pace and your values.
You feel safe, curious, and challenged - but never small.
You leave feeling capable, not dependent.
They are invested into their self-development, e.g. through further studies, and reading self-development books etc.

Red Flags in Coaching:

They try to "fix" you.
They talk over you, dominate you, or push you into quick, 'guaranteed' breakthroughs.
They preach mindset mantras instead of meeting you where you are.
They take credit for your achievements or make your progress about their power/method.
They try to convince you instead of helping you explore.
They judge you or tell you what to think, who to be, or how to feel.
They have no clearly defined coaching agreement that you undersigned.
You leave feeling wrong, ashamed, confused, ignored, or dependent on them.
They are unkind, show no compassion, and are opinionated.
They talk about other clients mentioning their names, disclosing their confidential topics that were discussed.

When You’re Looking for a Therapist

What matters in a therapist:

They are formally trained - with qualifications in counselling or psychotherapy.
They are a member of a professional body (BACP, UKCP, NCPS, etc.) and follow a strict code of ethics.
They have regular supervision for their clinical work.
They can explain clearly what therapy is and isn’t.
They keep clear, professional boundaries, ensuring you feel safe, even when the work is difficult.

Red Flags in Therapy:

They call themselves a therapist but have no formal training.
Their only "qualification" is "personal experience."
They work with trauma, mental health, or deep emotional wounds without clinical supervision.
They use vague spiritual or emotional language instead of proven methods.
They can’t explain how or why their methods work - or get defensive when you ask.
They blur the line between friendship and therapy or discourage you from seeking other help.
They make you feel dependent on them or afraid to leave.
They treat mental health with disrespect or make fun of people that come seeking help.
They disclose confidential information.

The Bottom Line

You wouldn’t let an untrained surgeon cut you open. Don’t let an untrained “healer” or “coach” cut into your mind.

Ask questions.
Check credentials.
And remember: anyone who’s truly qualified will never be offended that you did.

Do you have any questions? Get in touch with me:

Email or Book a Call

My Standard

My work is grounded in qualified coaching (Life Coach, Positive Psychology Practitioner), certified Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), and other robust, psychology-based methods. This is complemented by more than 25 years of committed self-development and hard work on myself, as well as being a qualified meditation teacher.

I am currently expanding my knowledge further by studying for my Trauma-Informed Life Coach diploma, Hypnotherapy, Gestalt Therapy, and Jungian Archetypes. My long-term goal is to move into Trauma Counselling in a couple of years, which requires years of rigorous study.

I know where coaching ends and therapy begins. I will always help you find the right kind of support if we reach that line.

Because real, lasting growth only happens in safety.

My Methods

The tools I use are grounded in established, scientifically-backed principles of human behaviour, change, and development.

The understanding I have for the human psyche comes from decades of reading psychology- and self-development based books, and from going through my own trauma and alchemising it into applicable solutions and positive outcomes.

Life Coaching

As a qualified Life Coach, my focus is entirely on the forward movement of your life. We work together to clarify your vision, define specific, achievable goals, and overcome the obstacles that are holding you back. I provide structure, accountability, and the challenging questions needed to drive lasting, measurable results in your career, relationships, health, and personal growth.

Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP)

NLP is like having a 'user manual for your brain'. It is a methodology that explores the connection between your neurological processes (Neuro), the language you use (Linguistic), and your established behaviour patterns (Programming). We use NLP techniques to help you rapidly interrupt negative thought patterns, build powerful new habits, and change the way you perceive the world and interact with yourself, leading to quick shifts in confidence and behaviour.

Positive Psychology

This is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living. Instead of focusing on what’s 'broken' (like traditional psychology), Positive Psychology focuses on what makes individuals and communities thrive. We work to identify and build your existing character strengths, cultivate resilience, foster meaningful relationships, and boost your overall sense of purpose, ensuring your growth is not just about fixing problems, but about actively flourishing.

However, the “positive” in the name doesn’t translate to the toxic positivity that is hyped on social channels. The positive translates to building resilience, strength, and finding the good in every situation, and helping yourself to overcome those situations with more ease.

My Commitment to Ethical, Informed Practice

The decision to continue my education while practicing is a non-negotiable part of my ethical standard and should be for any coach you come across. It guarantees you access to the most informed, safest, and most effective coaching available. I dedicate at least five hours per week to the below studies, plus reading loads of self-development and scientific books.

Trauma-Informed Life Coach

While I am not a trauma therapist, this diploma ensures that I understand how past trauma can affect your present-day behaviours, emotions, and responses. This allows me to hold a non-judgemental, sensitive, and safe space. If deep trauma work is required, I can recognise it and ethically refer you to a specialist therapist, keeping you safe and supported.

Hypnotherapy

This is a powerful tool for change that works by using focused attention and suggestion to create helpful changes in your unconscious mind. NLP uses quite a substantial amount of Hypnotherapy in its application. This skill, when qualified, will allow me to help clients achieve rapid, deep-seated change regarding habits, anxiety, and self-belief by speaking directly to the part of the brain that stores beliefs and patterns.

Gestalt Therapy

Gestalt therapy is a holistic approach focused on the 'here and now'. It encourages self-awareness by helping you explore your present experiences, thoughts, and feelings. This training will further enhance my ability to help you find clarity by becoming more conscious of your current reality, which is essential for taking authentic, forward-moving action.

Jungian Archetypes

This is where we go beneath the surface of your goals to explore your personal myth and deeper narrative. We use these universal patterns (such as The Hero, The Sage, or The Shadow) to unlock the unconscious drive behind your decisions. This helps you integrate hidden aspects of yourself, reclaim your power, and consciously activate the archetypal energy you need to step into your desired future role.